Real Readers Write

Murielle Maupoint - The Experience from the Non-Abusing Parent

|2010-05-07 07:51:23

I\'ve just stumbled across this site and was captured by one of the
comments posted:

Any form of abuse is a monstrosity... is it
something the victim can ever truly recover from? I\'m not sure.
Perhaps the best that can ever be hoped for when experiencing such trauma
is acceptance.

What is often rarely referred to and
briefly alluded to by DG above - is the parents\' experience. How
does the non-abusing parent respond/cope when they discover that their
beloved child has been abused (often by someone close to them)? I
recently had the honour to help Julia Webb-Harvey publish a new book that
addresses this very taboo topic. Hurt: The Harrowing Stories of Parents Whose Children Were Sexually Abused is not an easy read and yet it is one
that I believe will provide parents with much needed support
and perhaps even help the actual victims of abuse gain a better
appreciation that the abuse has on the non-abusing parent. As I said this
is a little discussed topic but one that affect too mnay families!
Anyone who is a parent who has found themselves in this position can seek
great comfort/inspiration from \'Hurt\' and you can also get
specialist support from from the charity Mosac: http://www.mosac.org.uk. The book incidentally will be available from from Amazon and http://www.liveitpublishing.com on 15th May 2010 (sorry for the plug about the book and the charity but
this issue is too important to stay quiet about)!

For me the key is
communication - the more children feel able to tell adults what is going on
then the more we will be able to prevent the traumau of child abuse.
The more parents feel able to access specialist support the better
able they will be to start repairing the damage their family has incurred
and supporting their children in learning to accept and hopefully move
on from such harrowing experiences.

\'A person can be destroyed but not defeated!\' – Ernest Hemingway

Quote

DG - I was a victim....

|2009-05-08 11:03:14

I was a victim of abuse by cousins, friends, deacons I felt that I was walking
around with a sign on my chest saying abuse me but really I was crying for help
and no one seemed to notice. My mom gave me love but not protection she took my
complaints as me bringing on the abuse. She would say that my dress was too
short and that was why I was abused. When she died an aunt told me that my mom
had been abused by an uncle. I think now that she could not deal with my abuse
she had not dealt with hers.
Abuse is rampant and perhaps if we do become more
vigilant we can make the difference at least for one. I wish that someone had
been vigilant in my life.

Quote

Tisha G. - Agreed

|2009-03-10 14:32:50

This article is to the point. Rihanna is making a mistake. I find the latest
news about her family not being able to get in contact with her very disturbing.
That's what abusers do, they isolate their victims. The police report of the
attack is also scary, every woman should read it. If he will do that to you he
does not love you he loves himself and one day he will kill you. Rihanna is
making a huge mistake. He will not change unless he gets help. Love him or not,
as the article says you have to love yourself first and more. But nobody can
give you that you've got to get that on your own.
This article is on point. I
have made copies and distributed to the women and men in my office. Thank you
and the new site looks really great.

Quote

Debbi - What's love got to do with it?

|2009-03-09 14:31:58

She probably still loves him, that's understandable, but she needs to love
herself more. If she lets this slide there is a real (but unlikely) possibility
that it will never happen again. But what is it just gets worse?

Quote

Arianne - sad by rihanna

|2009-03-06 10:56:21

At first when i heard about chris brown i didn't want to believe my friends said
that it was a lie too. He's so cute and they seeemed so in love but my mother
kept talking about it not right that a guy should beat you up my fahter did it
to her and she left him. and she sent me this artikel to read and we talked. Now
i am thinking diferent but i wonder what if you really love the guy? i think
rihanna still loves him.

Quote

3.26 Copyright (C) 2008 Compojoom.com / Copyright (C) 2007 Alain Georgette / Copyright (C) 2006 Frantisek Hliva. All rights reserved."